Love is like learning to ride a midget which Ive never done because Im afraid of heights.

She had two lips like strawberries and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.

If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorns horn being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin would you believe in second chances for love at first sight

Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee or directly into your soul

Love is like a forest I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while decorating my ex girlfriends front yard.

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldnt fit inside. But just because it wont fit doesnt mean you shouldnt empty the trash.

Any lustful fool can love a million women but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times.

To love someone as much as you love yourself that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone.

My love is like one of those wooden Russian nesting dolls matryoshka doll. I know because your heart fits perfectly inside mine.

Death cannot stop true love. Thats why its pointless for me to try to murder all my adoring female fans.