One thing I do know about intimacy is that there are certain natural laws which govern the sexual experience of two people and that these laws cannot be budged any more than gravity can be negotiated with. To feel physically comfortable with someone elses body is not a decision you can make. It has very little to do with how two people think or act or talk or even look. The mysterious magnet is either there buried somewhere deep behind the sternum or it is not. When it isnt there as I have learned in the past with heartbreaking clarity you can no more force it to exist than a surgeon can force a patients body to accept a kidney from the wrong donor. My friend Annie says it all comes down to one simple question Do you want your belly pressed against this persons belly forever --or not