As I continued to pray raggedly prayer ceased to be an awkward and self-conscious act. It became a daily need to which I looked forward. If for any reason I were deprived of it I was distressed as if I had been deprived of some life necessity like water. I cannot say I changed. There tore through me a transformation with the force of a river which dammed up and diverted for a lifetime bursts its way back to its true channel. I became what I was. I ceased to be what I was not.
And I still love you in my own fucked-up way. I miss you I really do. Can we still be friends