Shadow crawled across the floor to the yellow foam-rubber pad and climbed onto it pulling the thin blanket over himself and closed his eyes and he held onto nothing and he held onto dreams.

The more formidable the contradiction between inexhaustible life-joy and inevitable fate the greater the longing which reveals itself in the kingdom of poetry and in the self-created world of dreams hopes to banish the dark power of reality. The gods enjoy eternal youth and the search for the means of securing it was one of the occupations of the heroes of mythology and the sages as it was of real adventurers in the middle ages and more recent times. . . . But the fountain of youth has not been found and can not be found if it is sought in any particular spot on the earth. Yet it is no fable no dream-picture it requires no adept to find it it streams forth inexhaustible in all living nature.

When reading the history of the Jewish people of their flight from slavery to death of their exchange of tyrants I must confess that my sympathies are all aroused in their behalf. They were cheated deceived and abused. Their god was quick-tempered unreasonable cruel revengeful and dishonest. He was always promising but never performed. He wasted time in ceremony and childish detail and in the exaggeration of what he had done. It is impossible for me to conceive of a character more utterly detestable than that of the Hebrew god. He had solemnly promised the Jews that he would take them from Egypt to a land flowing with milk and honey. He had led them to believe that in a little while their troubles would be over and that they would soon in the land of Canaan surrounded by their wives and little ones forget the stripes and tears of Egypt. After promising the poor wanderers again and again that he would lead them in safety to the promised land of joy and plenty this God forgetting every promise said to the wretches in his powerYour carcasses shall fall in this wilderness and your children shall wander until your carcasses be wasted. This curse was the conclusion of the whole matter. Into this dust of death and night faded all the promises of God. Into this rottenness of wandering despair fell all the dreams of liberty and home. Millions of corpses were left to rot in the desert and each one certified to the dishonesty of Jehovah. I cannot believe these things. They are so cruel and heartless that my blood is chilled and my sense of justice shocked. A book that is equally abhorrent to my head and heart cannot be accepted as a revelation from God.When we think of the poor Jews destroyed murdered bitten by serpents visited by plagues decimated by famine butchered by each other swallowed by the earth frightened cursed starved deceived robbed and outraged how thankful we should be that we are not the chosen people of God. No wonder that they longed for the slavery of Egypt and remembered with sorrow the unhappy day when they exchanged masters. Compared with Jehovah Pharaoh was a benefactor and the tyranny of Egypt was freedom to those who suffered the liberty of God.While reading the Pentateuch I am filled with indignation pity and horror. Nothing can be sadder than the history of the starved and frightened wretches who wandered over the desolate crags and sands of wilderness and desert the prey of famine sword and plague. Ignorant and superstitious to the last degree governed by falsehood plundered by hypocrisy they were the sport of priests and the food of fear. God was their greatest enemy and death their only friend.It is impossible to conceive of a more thoroughly despicable hateful and arrogant being than the Jewish god. He is without a redeeming feature. In the mythology of the world he has no parallel. He only is never touched by agony and tears. He delights only in blood and pain. Human affections are naught to him. He cares neither for love nor music beauty nor joy. A false friend an unjust judge a braggart hypocrite and tyrant sincere in hatred jealous vain and revengeful false in promise honest in curse suspicious ignorant and changeable infamous and hideoussuch is the God of the Pentateuch.

We read the pagan sacred books with profit and delight. With myth and fable we are ever charmed and find a pleasure in the endless repetition of the beautiful poetic and absurd. We find in all these records of the past philosophies and dreams and efforts stained with tears of great and tender souls who tried to pierce the mystery of life and death to answer the eternal questions of the Whence and Whither and vainly sought to make with bits of shattered glass a mirror that would in very truth reflect the face and form of Natures perfect self.These myths were born of hopes and fears and tears and smiles and they were touched and colored by all there is of joy and grief between the rosy dawn of birth and deaths sad night. They clothed even the stars with passion and gave to gods the faults and frailties of the sons of men. In them the winds and waves were music and all the lakes and streams and springsthe mountains woods and perfumed dells were haunted by a thousand fairy forms. They thrilled the veins of Spring with tremulous desire made tawny Summers billowed breast the throne and home of love filled Autumns arms with sun-kissed grapes and gathered sheaves and pictured Winter as a weak old king who felt like Lear upon his withered face Cordelias tears. These myths though false are beautiful and have for many ages and in countless ways enriched the heart and kindled thought. But if the world were taught that all these things are true and all inspired of God and that eternal punishment will be the lot of him who dares deny or doubt the sweetest myth of all the Fable World would lose its beauty and become a scorned and hateful thing to every brave and thoughtful man.

What do you know of her or of deaths and dreams

I wither slowly in thine arms here at the quiet limit of the world a white haird shadow roaming like a dream.

Death is its own best friend and our dreams know it.

When someone you love dies you are given the gift of second chances. Their eulogy is a reminder that the living can turn their lives around at any point. Youre not bound by the past that is who you used to be. Youre reminded that your feelings are not who you are but how you felt at that moment. Your bad choices defined you yesterday but they are not who you are today. Your future doesnt have to travel the same path with the same people. You can start over. You dont have to apologize to people that wont listen. You dont have to justify your feelings or actions during a difficult time in your life. You dont have to put up with people that are insecure and want you to fail. All you have to do is walk forward with a positive outlook and trust that God has a plan that is greater than the sorrow you left behind. The people of quality that were meant to be in your life wont need you to explain the beauty of your heart. They already understand what being human is----a roller coaster ride of emotions during rainstorms and sunshine sprinkled with moments when you can almost reach the stars.

I once asked a rabbi in a large congregation which prayers he used with the dying. You mean the Mourners Kaddish he asked referring to the prayer recited on behalf of the deceased. No I replied. I mean the prayers said when a person is actually dying. Oh he replied. I dont know. Ive never seen anyone die. He had been a congregational rabbi for almost twenty years. I only get called when its time to do the funeral he explained. Clearly there is much to learn within our traditional religious communities.

I had a dream about you. You were wearing a spaghetti strainer as a helmet and I said I demand you take my fishbowl off your head at once. But the truth is it didnt matter because my fish had dried up and died weeks ago. Thats kind of like how love works no