It does good to no woman to be flattered by a man who does not intend to marry her and it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them which if unreturned and unknown must devour the life that feeds it and if discovered and responded to must lead ignis-fatuus-like into miry wilds whence there is no extrication.

Part of the problem with the word disabilities is that it immediately suggests an inability to see or hear or walk or do other things that many of us take for granted. But what of people who cant feel Or talk about their feelings Or manage their feelings in constructive ways What of people who arent able to form close and strong relationships And people who cannot find fulfillment in their lives or those who have lost hope who live in disappointment and bitterness and find in life no joy no love These it seems to me are the real disabilities.

The written word can make one pause and contemplate. It can make a reader sigh to dream or question a belief in considerable depth. But all of that is nothing if those words fail to touch the heart and make one feel.

I existed on my own terms. I was different my entire life. Some called me divergent wild crazy unpredictable and unconformedan apostate to the rules of the majority. I called myself Gods creation and found purpose in the madness. When that day came I didnt allow other people to dictate how I should feel or act. I learned there was no shame in imperfection because history had shown being different had the power to change perspectives and eventually the world. This is when I realized that flaws had responsibility. This was the day that I learned I was truly BLESSED.

I had a dream about you. Its been a while since I could remember any of my dreams and still this one has left me with such strong impression. Even now when I am fully awake your face flashes before my eyes. Its a face I can totally relate to as if it wasnt any more yours than it is mine. Terrifying thing you know I cant say Ive felt that sort of intimacy with anyone. For a moment you knew all my secrets without me even having to tell them. For a moment I even knew them myselfWhile I was looking into your eyes I suddenly started to realize things about myself that were unspoken for years like fragments of my inner life that were deeply repressed. Its hard to distinguish if they were buried inside because dealing with them was such a dirty work or if leaving them unnamed meant that it was not possible to define them precisely enough so they would keep their true meaning. Perhaps all this life that Ive known so far was in fact no more but a dream about living. The only thing that has kept me in touch with reality was youI know it comes as a surprise and you may be wondering why it took me so long to come clean. You also may be wondering how come youve never noticed before. Ive tricked you on purpose yes and you must realize it really has nothing to do with you. Its always been me. This is why seeing you in my dream like that came out as a shock. You also must forgive me. You must forgive me because I know how it looks like that everything we ever shared was a lie and it wasntI am more of an illusionist that a deceiver but it all comes from being in fact a very private person. Even if it was true that you knew me better than anyone Id never admit it. Id rather dig my own heart out with a rotten spoon than admitting it. I may let people in my own little world occasionally but I would never let them be aware of it. I dont throw my intimacy in front of others especially when I care. The more I care the less I give away and this is something for you to understand and grant me your forgiveness. I didnt play my tricks on you in order to deceive you but rather to save myself and maybe even deceive myself as well. Ive had hidden my feelings for you so deeply that Ive learned to live with them as if any other casualty. I have done wrong to myself as much as I did to you and I dont know if I can forgive myself. So now I wonder could you forgive me without feeling sorry for me I certainly dont deserve your pity. Especially not now that I am awake.

I had a dream about you. You had a wheelchair and I had a wheelbarrow and together we made love the way the Panama Canal should have been made. We dredged up a lot of dormant feelings that night.

My pillows are dreaming not me.With my eyes closed I only try to feel how they dream.

The ones who live for themselves find it easier to follow their dreams.

My eyes were blurry from being in love and my feelings were as furry as Bigfoot. I thought I spotted Her the women of my dreams but the other cryptozoologists thought I was hallucinating. They chided me saying If there is no picture there is no proof.

Dont tell me anymore. You should have your dream as the old woman told you to. I understand how you feel but if you put those feelings into words they will turn into lies. from Thailand