In the recurring dream everything has already fallen down and Im underneath. Im crawling sometimes for days under the rubble. And as I crawl I realize that this one was the Big One. It was the earthquake that shook the whole world and every single thing was destroyed. But this isnt the scary part. That part always comes right before I wake up. I am crawling and then suddenly I remember the earthquake happened years ago. This pain this dying this is just normal. This is how life is. In fact I realize there never was an earthquake. Life is just this way broken and I am crazy for dreaming something else.