Voicemail 1 Hi Isabel Culpeper. I am lying in my bed looking at the ceiling. I am mostly naked. I am thinking of your mother. Call me.Voicemail 2 The first minute and thirty seconds of Ive Gotta Get a Message to You by the Bee Gees. Voicemail 3 Im bored. I need to be entertained. Sam is moping. I may kill him with his own guitar. It would give me something to do and also make him say something. Two birds with one stone I find all these old expressions unnecessarily violent. Like ring around the rosy. Thats about the plague did you know Of course you did. The plague is like your older cousin. Hey does Sam talk to you He says jack shit to me. God Im bored. Call me.Voicemail 4 Hotel California by the Eagles in its entirety with every instance of the word California replaced with Minnesota. Voicemail 5 Hi this is Cole St. Clair. Want to know two true things One youre never picking up this phone. Two Im never going to stop leaving long messages. Its like therapy. Gotta talk to someone. Hey you know what I figured out today Victors dead. I figured it out yesterday too. Every day I figure it out again. I dont know what Im doing here. I feel like theres no one I can Voicemail 6 So yeah Im sorry. That last message went a little pear-shaped. You like that expression Sam said it the other day. Hey try this theory on for size I think hes a dead British housewife reincarnated into a Beatles body. You know I used to know this band that put on fake British accents for their shows. Boy did they suck aside from being assholes. I cant remember their name now. Im either getting senile or Ive done enough to my brain that stuffs falling out. Not so fair of me to make this one-sided is it Im always talking about myself in these things. So how are you Isabel Rosemary Culpeper Smile lately Hot Toddies. That was the name of the band. The Hot Toddies.Voicemail 20 I wish youd answer.
Our love was covered in fur yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it.