I had a dream about you. We were playing chess and logically we were both wearing football helmets. You were winning so I started to complain that perhaps I was losing because I was suffering from Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis due to the violent nature of the game. Then you took off your helmet to reveal the fact that you had no hair or skull and you had waffles for brains. So I poured syrup on my gloved hands and scooped out your intelligence to consume it.

I had a dream about you. Too many people died that night to count. Still I had to provide the Minister of Numbers with a rough estimate. The number I told him was two and that number may be off by one or two people. In the dream nobody could find my in-laws who may have been on vacation or they may have been viciously murdered depending on who you ask and what you saw. Say what did you see

I had a dream about you. We were in a kitchen shaped like Italy and we were making burritos for homeless houses. We should do more things like that and really make a difference indifferently.

I had a dream about you. Two empty benches sat on a man and I jogged by but did not stop because I knew if I did Id fall asleep and that damn tortoise would beat me again.

I had a dream about you. It was raining and you were anorexic and shaped like an umbrella. We fell in love like a desert has a dry sense of humor. I laughed so hard I got dehydrated and sunburned.

I had a dream about you. I ran a marathon like a mannequin stands still and you stood still like Roger Bannister runs errands.

I had a dream about you. We made love like the trunk of a Buick can hold three people. That was a great idea you had hiring that videographer.

I had a dream about you. You were Mickey Mantle and I was a fireplace without a mantle. I didnt like baseball so I kept telling you that you could do something productive with your life like becoming a Tupperware salesman.

I had a dream about you. You were riding a walrus like a cowboy and I was riding a cowboy like a cowboy. I waved at you and you waved your lasso over your head. Thats how I got roped into buying a new car.

I had a dream about you. You were drinking apple juice and I was drinking horse piss though the spectators in the stadium couldnt tell who was drinking what even though one million dollars for guessing correctly was on the line.