If only I could fallsound asleep and wake up in my old reality

It might be that to surrender to happiness was to accept defeat but it was a defeat better than many victories.

In my dreams of this city I am always lost.

It has never been my object to record my dreams just the determination to realize them.

True I talk of dreamsWhich are the children of an idle brainBegot of nothing but vain fantasyWhich is as thin of substance as the airAnd more inconstant than the wind who woos Even now the frozen bosom of the northAnd being angerd puffs away from thenceTurning his side to the dew-dropping south.

Whatever happened to our dreams The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable breathtaking and Im sitting here refreshing my inbox. We live trapped in loops reliving a few days over and over and we envision only a handful of paths laid out ahead of us. We see the same things each day we respond the same way we think the same thoughts each day a slight variation on the last every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. We act like if we just get through today tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. And no I dont have all the answers. I dont know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. But I do know one thing the solution doesnt involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of someday easing my fit into a mold. It doesnt involve tempering my life to better fit someones expectations. It doesnt involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up. This is very important so I want to say it as clearly as I can FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

We must never stop dreaming. Dreams provide nourishment for the soul just as a meal does for the body. Many times in our lives we see our dreams shattered and our desires frustrated but we have to continue dreaming. If we dont our soul dies and agape cannot reach it.

We ate the birds. We ate them. We wanted their songs to flow up through our throats and burst out of our mouths and so we ate them. We wanted their feathers to bud from our flesh. We wanted their wings we wanted to fly as they did soar freely among the treetops and the clouds and so we ate them. We speared them we clubbed them we tangled their feet in glue we netted them we spitted them we threw them onto hot coals and all for love because we loved them. We wanted to be one with them. We wanted to hatch out of clean smooth beautiful eggs as they did back when we were young and agile and innocent of cause and effect we did not want the mess of being born and so we crammed the birds into our gullets feathers and all but it was no use we couldnt sing not effortlessly as they do we cant fly not without smoke and metal and as for the eggs we dont stand a chance. Were mired in gravity were earthbound. Were ankle-deep in blood and all because we ate the birds we ate them a long time ago when we still had the power to say no.

A constant human error to believe in an end to ones fantasies. Our daydreams are the measure of our unreachable truth. The secret of all things lies in the emptiness of the formula that guard them.

Lady of the silver moonEnchantress of the nightProtect me and mine within this circle fairly cast.Earth Mother mother of the sleeping earthKeep safe all who gather hereWithin the protective shelter of your arms.By the earth that is Her bodyBy the air that is Her breathBy the fire that is Her bright spiritAnd by the living waters of Her wombOur circle is castNone shall come to harm hereFrom any forcesOn any level.As we willSo shall it be done.As we willSo mote it be.