So much has been done to my body and still somehow not enough.

Standing naked on the beach with all of my secrets between my legs I look out into the water and up deep into the stars. I beg the sparkling lanterns of light to cure me of myself

You haunt my days and dreams.

Something somewhere knows whats best for me and promises to keep sending me people and experiences to light my way as long as I live in gratitude and keep paying attention to the signs.

I wish that love could be broken down the way it breaks me down.

It feels like the world is folding up around me like origami paper and Im trapped inside of its breathless center.

Im tired of justifying why I love someone. Im done with the explaining.

Ive grown up defined by this desperate undeniable cant breathe kind of space inside of myself and Im afraid that the diagnosis is fatal.

But I love you and I want you and I need you. Cant you see that This world has nothing to offer me if it doesnt include you.

I ruin everything. I think that a bullet must have passed through my heart when I was very young causing me to bleed out slowly over things and people and every white surface that Id ever come across.