I had a dream about you. You were wearing a spaghetti strainer as a helmet and I said I demand you take my fishbowl off your head at once. But the truth is it didnt matter because my fish had dried up and died weeks ago. Thats kind of like how love works no

I had a dream about you. You wore all yellow and I wore all blue and together we were trying to make the world a little greener. Not through sex as I wanted but through recycling.

I had a dream about you while having a dream about you. We were watching the movie Inception and drinking dj vu.

I had a dream about you. You had just developed a way to drink sleep and I owned a coffee shop. You wanted to partner up but I suggested a more natural fit would be with a hotel. I recommended a sleazy one downtown where all the hookers go to sell sex.

I had a dream about you. You had a bottle made of smoky glass which made the contents appear mysterious and I had the last smoky exhalation of a dead smoker in a Ziploc bag. I offered to trade my sandwich for your drink but you said No thanks Im asexual.

I had a dream about you. I was a cat. You were a red dot. And even those times I caught you we couldnt touch. But still I chased you anyway.

I had a dream about you. I invented and sold shoes that left no footprints and you were thinking about committing a murder in a muddy area. I said that committing a murder was a bad idea and that you should commit several murders but I was just trying to sell more shoes.

I had a dream about you. You were trying to swim across the Atlantic Ocean and I figured Id help you out so I brought a bucket to the beach and scooped out about a gallon of sea water. I was pleased with myself because now youd have that much less water to swim through. People have drowned on a gallon of water so its very likely I saved your life. But I didnt do it to be honored like a hero though a parade would be nice. I did it for the free meals and the discounted sex.

I had a dream about you. Dinner for two turned into dinner for three when you told me you were pregnant. I was excited but a little nervous because we were at a fancy restaurant and I only had enough money in my wallet to pay for two. So being the gentleman I am I suggested that we skip out on the bill after we were finished eating.

I had a dream about you painting the scene of a house fire. The clocks were melting and Salvador Dali was riding around in a clown car muttering something about irony.