You asked me to go out with you. I know you probably changed your mind. But you should know the answer was yes. Its always been yes when it comes to you.
It didnt make you noble to step away from something that wasnt working even if you thought you were the reason for the malfunction. Especially then. It just made you a quitter. Because if you were the problem chances were you could also be the solution. The only way to find out was to take another shot.
I realized how truly hard it was really to see someone you love change right before your eyes. Not only is it scary it throws your balance off as well.
He wasnt the type for displays of affection either verbal or not. He was disgusted by couples that made out in the hallways between classes and got annoyed at even the slightest sappy moments in movies. But I knew he cared about me he just conveyed it more subtly as concise with expressing this emotion as he was with everything else. It was in the way hed put his hand on the small of my back for instance or how hed smile at me when I said something that surprised him. Once I might have wanted more but Id come around to his way of thinking in the time wed been together. And we were together all the time. So he didnt have to prove how he felt about me. Like so much else I should just know.
He was not my boyfriend. On the other hand he wasnt just a friend either. Instead our relationship was elastic stretching between those two extremes depending on who else was around how much either of us had to drink and other varying factors. This was exactly what I wanted as commitments had never really been my thing. And it wasnt like it was hard either. The only trick was never giving more than you were willing to lose.