Does our purpose on Earth directly link to the people whom we end up meeting Are our relationships and experiences actually the required dots that connect and then lead us to our ultimate destinies

Everything hurts right now and nothing is helping because as the pain is getting worse so is the love.

I really believe that there is an invisible red thread tied between him and me and that it has stretched and tangled for years across oceans and lifetimes. I know that it wont break because our souls are tied.

I could watch him do this until morning never asking questions and never interrupting his work. I worship quietly his intense focus and attention to detail and then out of no where I realize the inconvenient inappropriate truth I love this man and it has swallowed me.

If ever I was running it was towards you.

I love him in ways that I cant explain to other people. They dont understand its not their fault.

When you forget about the how go back to the why.

Please Whoever you are whatever you are I believe in you even though I dont completely understand you. I feel you around me even though I cant exactly describe what Im feeling. Sometimes things happen to me and I know that youre there and Im humbled by the lack of coincidence that exists in the world. Whatever you want from me its yours just please help me. You know how I get when I lose control and I find myself constantly being pulled back there these days.

It is impossible to see how good work might be accomplished by people who think that our life in this world either signifies nothing or has only a negative significance.If on the other hand we believe that we are living souls Gods dust and Gods breath acting our parts among other creatures all made of the same dust and breath as ourselves and if we understand that we are free within the obvious limits of moral human life to do evil or good to ourselves and to the other creatures - then all our acts have a supreme significance. If it is true that we are living souls and morally free then all of us are artists. All of us are makers within mortal terms and limits of our lives of one anothers lives of things we need and use...If we think of ourselves as living souls immortal creatures living in the midst of a Creation that is mostly mysterious and if we see that everything we make or do cannot help but have an everlasting significance for ourselves for others and for the world then we see why some religious teachers have understood work as a form of prayer...Work connects us both to Creation and to eternity. pg. 316 Christianity and the Survival of Creation

Stop trying to be less of who you are. Let this time in your life cut you open and drain all of the things that are holding you back.