We maken ons liever eigenhandig onaantrekkelijk dan dat we dat oordeel over onze aantrekkingskracht waarde en betekenis aan anderen overlaten. We worden liever dik dronken ontrouw en ongelukkig dan dat we het angstaanjagend grotere aanpakken een ideaal waarmaken dat we koesteren en daarvoor erkenning zoeken bij anderen.

I think that the things that are supposed to happen stay inside you...even if they cannot be they fight to get out of you. Even if the adversities of life keep you imprisoned making your destiny seem impossible...you still feel it. There has to be a place somewhere even in dreams... where the things that are supposed to happen...happen.

I prayed to a mystery.Sometimes I was simply aware of the mystery. I saw a flash of it during a trip to New York that David and I took before we were married. We were walking on a busy sidewalk in Manhattan. I dont remember if it was day or night. A man with a wound on his forehead came toward us. His damp ragged hair might have been clotted with blood or maybe it was only dirt. He wore deeply dirty clothes. His red swollen hands cupped in half-fists swung loosely at his sides. His eyes were focused somewhere past my right shoulder. He staggered while he walked. The sidewalk traffic flowed around him and with him. He was strange and frightening and at the same time he belonged on the Manhattan sidewalk as much as any of us. It was that paradox -- that he could be both alien and resident both brutalized and human that he could stand out in the moving mass of people like a sea monster in a school of tuna and at the same time be as much at home as any of us -- that stayed with me. I never saw him again but I remember him often and when I do I am aware of the mystery.Years later I was out on our property on the Olympic Peninsula cutting a path through the woods. This was before our house was built. After chopping through dense salal and hacking off ironwood bushes for an hour or so I stopped exhausted. I found myself standing motionless intensely aware of all of the life around me the breathing moss the chattering birds the living earth. I was as much a part of the woods as any millipede or cedar tree. At that moment too I was aware of the mystery.Sometimes I wanted to speak to this mystery directly. Out of habit I began with Dear God and ended with Amen. But I thought to myself Im not praying to that old man in the sky. Rather Im praying to this thing I cant define. It was sort of like talking into a foggy valley.Praying into a bank of fog requires alot of effort. I wanted an image to focus on when I prayed. I wanted something to pray to. but I couldnt go back to that old man. He was too closely associated with all Id left behind.

Dont talk about it be about it

I had a dream about you you were at your old house walking around. When I asked what you were doing you explained to me that you were planning out your heaven this was the happiest you had ever been and when you passed you where going to come back here. I woke up thinking how beautiful that was and I was filled with hope

In the end what will you fight for-- what got there first what got there last or what has been there all along

Aku menitipkan mimpi-mimpi dalam lipatan perahu kertas. Selamat berlayar sampailah di pelabuhan kesuksesan

Youve been the rabbi here for thirty years and these guys whove never set foot here want to decide who should be rabbi or not. And to lead prayer in Hebrew for Jews who speak Arabic they want you to write in French. So I say theyre nuts.

I had a dream about you. You said you wanted to grow your hair long and I wondered how long long is. I thought the Nile river is long so thats probably what you meant. I offered to build a Pyramid on your shoulder and you offered me tax exempt status when your hair was long enough to start flooding.

I had a dream about you. Too many people died that day for us to talk about love. But through the stench of rotting corpses all I could think about was how beautiful you were and how much I wanted to avoid prison.