You haunt my days and dreams.

Something somewhere knows whats best for me and promises to keep sending me people and experiences to light my way as long as I live in gratitude and keep paying attention to the signs.

I wish that love could be broken down the way it breaks me down.

It feels like the world is folding up around me like origami paper and Im trapped inside of its breathless center.

Im tired of justifying why I love someone. Im done with the explaining.

Ive grown up defined by this desperate undeniable cant breathe kind of space inside of myself and Im afraid that the diagnosis is fatal.

But I love you and I want you and I need you. Cant you see that This world has nothing to offer me if it doesnt include you.

I ruin everything. I think that a bullet must have passed through my heart when I was very young causing me to bleed out slowly over things and people and every white surface that Id ever come across.

It was a vision of the one thing that we both hoped someday would be...the warmth of our bodies next to each others reflected in sunset of our secret place... We longed for it to be like this each and every evening... Dancing in the night playing hide-and-seek in the day the beauty of our souls blossoms... Never before had we felt so happy never before had we felt so alive... We hear the birds sensing the cheerful breeze the rainbows end does linger here....our tenderness sighs and spirits speak and we do know clear... This place is where love and laughter meet... You take my hand kiss each finger tip with tears in your eyes you touch my cheek and whisper of how wondrous this we share our love once again. The love that gives us wings to fly anew. Our hearts in sweet pleasing pain beat as one in the rhythm of long forgotten yet melody... Together again at this wondrous place where just our presence adds more grace and makes it what was meant to be - a place for you a place for me...

I tried to push my body through his and completely disappear.