Havent I - he thought. Havent I thought of it since the first time I saw you Havent I thought of nothing else for two years ...He sat motionless looking at her. He heard the words he had never allowed himself to form the words he had felt known yet had not faced had hoped to destroy by never letting them be said within his own mind. Now it was as sudden and shocking as if he were saying it to her ...Since the first time I saw you ...Nothing but your body that mouth of yours and the way your eyes would look at me if ...Through every sentence I ever said to you through every conference you thought so safe through the importance of all the issues we discussed ...You trusted me didnt you To recognize your greatness To think of you as you deserved - as if you were a man ...Dont you suppose I know how much Ive betrayed The only bright encounter of my life - the only person I respected - the best business man I know - my ally - my partner in a desperate battle ...The lowest of all desires - as my answer to the highest Ive met ...Do you know what I am I thought of it because it should have been unthinkable. For that degrading need which would never touch you I have never wanted anyone but you ...I hadnt known what it was like to want it until I saw you for the first time. I had thought Not I I couldnt be broken by it ...Since then ...For two years ...With not a moments respite ...Do you know what its like to want it Would you wish to hear what I thought when I looked at you ...When I lay awake at night ...When I hear your voice over a telephone wire ...When I worked but could not drive it away ...To bring you down to things you cant conceive - and to know that its I who have done it. To reduce you to a body to teach you an animals pleasure to see you need it to see you asking me for it to see your wonderful spirit dependent on the upon the obscenity of your need. To watch you as you are as you face the world with your clean proud strength - then to see you in my bed submitting to any infamous whim I may devise to any act which Ill preform for the sole purpose of watching your dishonor and to which youll submit for the sake of an unspeakable sensation ...I want you - and may I be damned for it

My headll explode if I continue with this escapism.

People wait around too long for love. Im happy with all of my lusts

You know that when I hate you it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.

There is no time for cut-and-dried monotony. There is time for work. And time for love. That leaves no other time.

V-Dayif you need this one day in a year to show everyone else you truly care for your loved one I think its quite stupid. I hate this commercialism. Its all artificial and has nothing to do with real love.

A fit healthy bodythat is the best fashion statement

I felt like an animal and animals dont know sin do they

Sometimes you want to say I love you butYet the but takes away the I love you. In love their are no buts or ifs or when. Its just there and always. No beginning no end. Its the condition-less state of the heart. Not a feeling that comes and goes at the whim of the emotions. It is there in our heart a part of our hearteventually grafting itself into each limb and cell of our bodies. Love changes our brain the way we move and talk. Love lives in our spirit and graces us with its presence each day until death.To say I love you but. is to say I did not love you at all.I say this to you now I love you with no beginning no end. I love you as you have become an extra necessary organ in my body. I love you as only a girl could love a boy. Without fear. Without expectations. Wanting nothing in return except that you allow me to keep you here in my heart that I may always know your strength your eyes and your spirit that gave me freedom and let me fly.

If I am to be fallen into love I will. And if as a result I will appear to be stupid disillusioned and of poor judgment I will. And I would be damned if I cared what other people think. For I would rather be thought of as all of these things than not love. If in loving I become the naked woman on the horse I will ride that horse with my head held high. This is my spirit. I am unbreakable.