Famous Quotes about humor

Jarod Kintz quote #212 from Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Two become one when two are in loveor when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. Ill pay next time I promise.
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Colleen Houck quote #425 from Tiger's Curse

Pulling the chair out for me he invited me to sit. I stood there wondering if I could sprint for the nearest exit. Stupid strappy shoes Id never make it. He leaned in close and whispered in my ear I know what youre thinking and Im not going to let you escape again. You can either take a seat and have dinner with me like a normal date he grinned at his word choice or he paused thoughtfully then threatened you can sit on my lap while I force-feed you.
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Jarod Kintz quote #376 from At even one penny

I removed all the doors to our love so you cant lock yourself away from me. But I didnt stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors so I could fondle you more efficiently like the highly trained professionals do who run airport security.
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J. Conrad Guest famous quote #192

I used to think Romeo and Juliet was the greatest love story ever written. But now that Im middle-aged I know better. Oh Romeo certainly thinks he loves his Juliet. Driven by hormones he unquestionably lusts for her. But if he loves her its a shallow love. You want proof Soon after meeting her for the first time he realizes he forgot to ask her for her name. Can true love be founded upon such shallow acquaintance I dont think so. And at the end when he thinks shes dead he finds no comfort in living out the remainder of his life within the paradigm of his love at least keeping alive the memory of what they had briefly shared even if it was no more than illusion or more accurately hormonal. Yes those of us watching events unfold from the darkness know she merely lies in slumber. But does he seek the reason for her life-like appearance No. Instead he accuses Death of amorousness convinced that the lean abhorred monster endeavors to keep Juliet in her present state cheeks flushed so that she might cater to his own dissolute desires. But does Romeo hold her in his arms one last time and feel the warmth of her blood still coursing through her veins Does he pinch her to see if she might awaken Does he hold a mirror to her nose to see if her breath fogs it Once twice three times a no. His alleged love is so superficial and so selfish that he seeks to escape the pain of loss by taking his own life. Thats not love but infatuation. Had they wedJuliet bearing many children bonding growing together the masks of the star-struck teens they once were long ago cast away basking in the love born of a lifetime togetherand she died of natural causes would Romeo have been so moved to take his own life or would he have grieved properly for her loss and not just his own.J. Conrad Guest author of Backstop A Baseball Love Story in Nine Innings The Cobb Legacy Januarys Paradigm One Hot January Januarys Thaw A Retrospect in Death forthcoming and 500 Miles to Go forthcoming
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William Goldman quote #43 from The Princess Bride

The Prince found Buttercup waiting unhappily outside his chamber doors.Its my letter she began. I cannot make it right.Come in come in the Prince said gently. Maybe we can help you. She sat down in the same chair as before. All right Ill close my eyes and listen read to me.Westley my passion my sweet my only my own. Come back come back. I shall kill myself otherwise. Yours in torment Buttercup. She looked at Humperdinck. Well Do you think Im throwing myself at him
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