Our love was covered in fur yet I was the only one who wanted to pet it.

She should have remembered her past experiences in the relationship wars and not let herself get so excited. Evidently her hormones had overruled her common sense and she had become drunk on ovarian wine the most potent sanity- destroying substance in the universe.

Two become one when two are in loveor when the waitress asks about our dinner bill. Ill pay next time I promise.

Ive got a way with love. Away with love.

Love speaks to the heart like a mime to a mute.

The only thing I could love more than you is two of you. And I suppose three.

Love is like war except without all the blood and death and stuff.

I removed all the doors to our love so you cant lock yourself away from me. But I didnt stop there. I also replaced the doors with metal detectors so I could fondle you more efficiently like the highly trained professionals do who run airport security.

Love is a tomato. And while its true that I can live without a tomato I could sure go for some ketchup.

The other day I woke up to find my girlfriend already gone from the house and a sticky note on the fridge that said I love you. Oh my God I thought. Somebodys obsessed with me and they kidnapped my girlfriend just to get closer to me.