If ever I was running it was towards you.

I love him in ways that I cant explain to other people. They dont understand its not their fault.

Theres folly in her stridethats the rumorjustified by liesIve seen her up closebeneath the sheetsand sometime during the summershe was mine for a few sweet months in the falland parts of December To get to the heart of this unsolvable equation one must first become familiar with the physical emotional and immaterial makeup as to what constitutes both war and peace. I found her looking through a windowthe same window Id been looking throughShe smiled and her eyes never falteredthis folly was a crime The very essence of war is destructive though throughout the years utilized as a means of creating peace such an equation might seem paradoxical to the untrained eye. Some might say using evil to defeat evil is counterproductive and gives more meaning to the word futile. Others like Edmund Burke would argue that the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men and women to do nothing. She had an identity I could identify withsomething my fingertips could caress in the night There is such a limitless landscape within the mind no two minds are alike. And this is why as a race we will forever be at war with each other.What constitutes peace is in the mind of the beholder. Have you heard the argumentThis displacement of men and womenand women and menthe minds we all havethe beliefs we all shareSlipping inside of usthoughts and religions and bodiesall bare Without darkness there can be no lighthe once said. To demonstrate this theory during one of his seminars he held a piece of white chalk and drew a line down the center of a blackboard. Explaining that without the blackness of the board the white line would be invisible. When she leftshe kissed with eyes openI knew this because Id done the sameSometimes we saw eye to eye like thatVery brieflyshe considered an apotheosisa synthesisa rendering of her follyinto solidarity To believe that a world-wide lay down of arms is possible however is the delusion of the pacifist the dream of the optimist and the joke of the realist. Diplomacy only goes so far and in spite of our efforts to fight with words- there are times when drawing swords of a very different nature are surely called for. Experiencing the subsequent sunriseinhaling and drinkingbreaking mirrors and regurgitatingjust to start againall in allI was just another gash in the bark Plato once saidOnly the dead have seen the end of war. Perhaps the death of us all is called for in this time of emotional desperation. War is a product of the mind only with the death of such will come the end of the bloodshed. Though this may be a fairly realistic view of such an issue perhaps there is an optimistic outlook on the horizon. Not every sword is double edged but every coin is double sided. Leaving town and throwing shit out the windowdrinking boroughs and borrowing spare changeI glimpsed the rear view mirrorstole a glimpse reallyIve believed in looking back for a whileit helps to have one last viewa reminder in case one ever decides to rebelin the event the self regressesand makes the declaration of devastationonce more Thus if we wish to eliminate the threat of war today- complete human annihilation may be called for.

Please Whoever you are whatever you are I believe in you even though I dont completely understand you. I feel you around me even though I cant exactly describe what Im feeling. Sometimes things happen to me and I know that youre there and Im humbled by the lack of coincidence that exists in the world. Whatever you want from me its yours just please help me. You know how I get when I lose control and I find myself constantly being pulled back there these days.

Stop trying to be less of who you are. Let this time in your life cut you open and drain all of the things that are holding you back.

Ive always seen this in you ever since you were a little girl this hunger to love other people into their highest selves and its what has made me irreversibly and just so forever in love with you.

Dont worry if people think youre crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who theyre destined to be.

Brooklyn was a dream. All the things that happened there just couldnt happen. It was all dream stuff. Or was it all real and true and was it that she Francie was the dreamer

I look out into the water and up deep into the stars. I beg the sparkling lanterns of light to cure me of myself my past and the kaleidoscope of mistakes failures and wrong turns that have stacked unbearable regret upon my shoulders.

I can do this I can start over. I can save my own life and Im never going to be alone as long as I have stars to wish on and people to still love.