Had I been in love I could not have been more wretchedly blind. But vanity not love has been my folly.

The acceptance of oneself is the essence of the whole moral problem and the epitome of a whole outlook on life. That I feed the hungry that I forgive an insult that I love my enemy in the name of Christ -- all these are undoubtedly great virtues. What I do unto the least of my brethren that I do unto Christ. But what if I should discover that the least among them all the poorest of all the beggars the most impudent of all the offenders the very enemy himself -- that these are within me and that I myself stand in need of the alms of my own kindness -- that I myself am the enemy who must be loved -- what then As a rule the Christians attitude is then reversed there is no longer any question of love or long-suffering we say to the brother within us Raca and condemn and rage against ourselves. We hide it from the world we refuse to admit ever having met this least among the lowly in ourselves.

Nostalgia has a way of blocking the reality of the past.

Theres folly in her stridethats the rumorjustified by liesIve seen her up closebeneath the sheetsand sometime during the summershe was mine for a few sweet months in the falland parts of December To get to the heart of this unsolvable equation one must first become familiar with the physical emotional and immaterial makeup as to what constitutes both war and peace. I found her looking through a windowthe same window Id been looking throughShe smiled and her eyes never falteredthis folly was a crime The very essence of war is destructive though throughout the years utilized as a means of creating peace such an equation might seem paradoxical to the untrained eye. Some might say using evil to defeat evil is counterproductive and gives more meaning to the word futile. Others like Edmund Burke would argue that the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men and women to do nothing. She had an identity I could identify withsomething my fingertips could caress in the night There is such a limitless landscape within the mind no two minds are alike. And this is why as a race we will forever be at war with each other.What constitutes peace is in the mind of the beholder. Have you heard the argumentThis displacement of men and womenand women and menthe minds we all havethe beliefs we all shareSlipping inside of usthoughts and religions and bodiesall bare Without darkness there can be no lighthe once said. To demonstrate this theory during one of his seminars he held a piece of white chalk and drew a line down the center of a blackboard. Explaining that without the blackness of the board the white line would be invisible. When she leftshe kissed with eyes openI knew this because Id done the sameSometimes we saw eye to eye like thatVery brieflyshe considered an apotheosisa synthesisa rendering of her follyinto solidarity To believe that a world-wide lay down of arms is possible however is the delusion of the pacifist the dream of the optimist and the joke of the realist. Diplomacy only goes so far and in spite of our efforts to fight with words- there are times when drawing swords of a very different nature are surely called for. Experiencing the subsequent sunriseinhaling and drinkingbreaking mirrors and regurgitatingjust to start againall in allI was just another gash in the bark Plato once saidOnly the dead have seen the end of war. Perhaps the death of us all is called for in this time of emotional desperation. War is a product of the mind only with the death of such will come the end of the bloodshed. Though this may be a fairly realistic view of such an issue perhaps there is an optimistic outlook on the horizon. Not every sword is double edged but every coin is double sided. Leaving town and throwing shit out the windowdrinking boroughs and borrowing spare changeI glimpsed the rear view mirrorstole a glimpse reallyIve believed in looking back for a whileit helps to have one last viewa reminder in case one ever decides to rebelin the event the self regressesand makes the declaration of devastationonce more Thus if we wish to eliminate the threat of war today- complete human annihilation may be called for.

I wept for relationships not possible due to denial and dreams locked in the back of peoples minds all of the bits of life that lay dormant until the babblings of televisions and nursing homes sweep them away. It makes me wonder how many of the dreams we had originally have already been forgotten.