Sam came around the side of the car and stopped dead when he saw me. Oh my God what is THAT I used my thumb and middle finger to flick the multicolored pom-pom on top of my head. In my language we call it a HAT. It keeps my ears warm. Oh my God Sam said again and closed the distance between us. He cupped my face in his hands and studied me. Its horribly cute. He kissed me looked at the hat and then he kissed me again. I vowed never to lose the pom-pom hat.

I mean its not surprising really. Once you love something you always love it in some way. You have to. Its like part of you for good.

How can something so wrong feel so right

Love is too precious to be ashamed of.

Did you think you could stop me Ill burn the world down to save her.

But when I touch you your aura it smolders. The colors deepen it burns more intensely the purple increases. Why Why Sydney He used that hand to pull me closer. Why do you react that way if I dont mean anything to you There was a desperation in his voice and it was legitimate.

But is it such a bad thing to live like this for just a little while Just for a few months of ones life is it so awful to travel through time with no greater ambition than to find the next lovely meal Or to learn how to speak a language for no higher purpose than that it pleases your ear to hear it Or to nap in a garden in a patch of sunlight in the middle of the day right next to your favourite fountain And then to do it again the next day

I love her and thats the beginning and end of everything.

Anas I dont know how to tell you what I feel. I live in perpetual expectancy. You come and the time slips away in a dream. It is only when you go that I realize completely your presence. And then it is too late. You numb me. ... This is a little drunken Anas. I am saying to myself here is the first woman with whom I can be absolutely sincere. I remember your saying - you could fool me I wouldnt know it. When I walk along the boulevards and think of that. I cant fool you - and yet I would like to. I mean that I can never be absolutely loyal - its not in me. I love women or life too much - which it is I dont know. But laugh Anas I love to hear you laugh. You are the only woman who has a sense of gaiety a wise tolerance - no more you seem to urge me to betray you. I love you for that. ...I dont know what to expect of you but it is something in the way of a miracle. I am going to demand everything of you - even the impossible because you encourage it. You are really strong. I even like your deceit your treachery. It seems aristocratic to me.

I loved you so much once. I did. More than anything in the whole wide world. Imagine that. What a laugh that is now. Can you believe it We were so intimate once upon a time I cant believe it now. The memory of being that intimate with somebody. We were so intimate I could puke. I cant imagine ever being that intimate with somebody else. I havent been.