I had a dream about you. You were storing my brain in a pickle jar in the fridge and I only discovered it when I went to garnish my hamburger. Mindless and hungry I was a US politicians ideal voter.

I had a dream about you. Your face was puffy like a puffer fish only puffier and I thought it was from crying. Nope turns out you were just fat. But at least you were fat and happy.

I had a dream about you. You invited me to a picnic so I brought two bottles of mustardone for me and one for the guy who always holds your leash. When I got there I wondered who is that guy why are you on a leash and who brought the baloney if anybody

I had a dream about you. We were laying down asphalt and you said we were building a future together. Then I watched as a chicken crossed over our work and I said No we are building a joke.

I had a dream about you. You were wearing a wedding dress and I was in a tuxedo. Wed been waiting on this moment our whole lives only I imagined the first time I robbed a bank Id be dressed like a cowboy. But you were right this was more romantic.

I had a dream about you. You started following me on Twitter and then you started following me around town. I wouldnt mind so much of you would start throwing your hashtags away rather than tossing them into the street.

I had a dream about you. You were cooking me dinner and I was standing by the stove questioning your every move. You found me ungrateful and I found the number for Chinese takeout. I may not have wanted your food but I still wanted your love. Your love isnt burnt too is it

I had a dream about you. You were selling nickels for seven cents apiece and I was only willing to pay six. Grandma thought I was foolish but what did I careshe was dead Its like my grandpa always used to say I want to bill Billings one penny at a time. He died with five cents to his name. I was named after himfifty years after him.

I had a dream about you. I was a painter and you were a nude banana. You wanted me to paint you in a still life and I asked you to put some peels on. Your nudity made me feel naked as a person. Also having no clothes on made me feel naked and thats why I couldnt see you because seeing you made me see who I was as a man and as a fruit. Im more banana than baby carrot if you know what I mean.

I had a dream about you. You were hungry so I made you a binocular sandwich which is peeping power between two slices of bread. You were a hungry pervert so I thought it perfect.