Lets face it suffering discredits goodness. Im agnostic in practice though faith-based in theory. I used to pray but now know hell do what he darn well pleases when he darn well pleases. Will he listen Maybe. We have a book that says so but how much happens beyond that book I cant say. Thats agnosticism in its bleakest and most honest form. Dont judge me yet believe me when I tell you that years of abuse tend to wring out every ounce of ones ability to understand and adhere to faith in standard form.