Famous Quotes from Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz quote #80 from We Had A #Dream About You

I had a dream about you. I was a painter and you were a nude banana. You wanted me to paint you in a still life and I asked you to put some peels on. Your nudity made me feel naked as a person. Also having no clothes on made me feel naked and thats why I couldnt see you because seeing you made me see who I was as a man and as a fruit. Im more banana than baby carrot if you know what I mean.
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Jarod Kintz quote #49 from We Had A #Dream About You

I had a dream about you. I had superhuman strength not unlike I possess when Im awake and you wanted me to enter and win the Worlds Strongest Man competition. I told you my super strength should be used for the good of humanity as I tossed a beer keg 50 meters to earn the kiss of a female admirer and then I said Im going to become a baker in a colorful tent because the people need bread and circuses to survive all the corruption in the world.
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Jarod Kintz quote #89 from This Book is Not for Sale

My eyes were blurry from being in love and my feelings were as furry as Bigfoot. I thought I spotted Her the women of my dreams but the other cryptozoologists thought I was hallucinating. They chided me saying If there is no picture there is no proof.
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Jarod Kintz quote #111 from We Had A #Dream About You

I had a dream about you. You were saving your love for another man so I gave you a bigger Ziploc bag to save it in because if youre going to make that relationship work youve got to give more than what you gave to me. Later I regretted giving you my Ziploc bag because I was left with no place to store my sandwich so I had to rent a locker at the local YMCA.
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Jarod Kintz quote #69 from This Book Title is Invisible

It is possible to be in two dreams at once. If I dream about you and you are asleep at the time you are in both your dreams and mine. Still youre not really in my dream are you Its like a party youre invited to but arent allowed entry. Thats too bad because you would have really loved it.
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Jarod Kintz quote #90 from We Had A #Dream About You

I had a dream about you. You wanted to take a bath and I wanted to take a shower. It started raining so we went in the lake so we could both win. Then you got struck by lightning so I had to make love to someone else that night. I was very sad.
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