I knew they would kill me when they found out but He struggled for words releasing a sharp breath. I think I realized that I would rather die because I betrayed them than live because I betrayed you.

Did you know I always thought you were braver than me Did you ever guess that that was why I was so afraid It wasnt that I only loved some of you. But I wondered if you could ever love more than some of me. I knew Id miss you. But the surprising thing is you never leave me. I never forget a thing. Every kind of love it seems is the only one. It doesnt happen twice. And I never expected that you could have a broken heart and love with it too so much that it doesnt seem broken at all. I know young people look at me and think my youth seems so far away but its all around me and youre all around me. Tiger Lily do you think magic exists if it can be explained I can explain why I loved you I can explain the theory of evolution that tells me why mermaids live in Neverland and nowhere else. But it still feels magic. The lost boys all stood at our wedding. Does it seem odd to you that they could have stood at a wedding that wasnt yours and mine It does to me. and Im sorry for it and for a lot and I also wouldnt change it. It is so quiet here. Even with all the trains and the streets and the people. Its nothing like the jungle. The boys have grown. Everything has grown. Do you think you will ever grow I hope not. I like to think that even if I change and fade away some other people wont. I like to think that one day after I die at least one small particle of me - of all the particles that will spread everywhere - will float all the way to Neverland and be part of a flower or something like that like that poet said the one that your Tik Tok loved. I like to think that nothings final and that everyone gets to be together even when it looks like they dont that it all works out even when all the evidence seems to say something else that you and I are always young in the woods and that Ill see you sometime again even if its not with any kind of eyes I know of or understand. I wouldnt be surprised if that is the way things go after all - that all things end happy. Even for you and Tik Tok. and for you and me.Always Your PeterP.S. Please give my love to Tink. She was always such a funny little bug.

Love is a trap. When it appears we see only its light not its shadows.

Every friendship travels at sometime through the black valley of despair. This tests every aspect of your affection. You lose the attraction and the magic. Your sense of each other darkens and your presence is sore. If you can come through this time it can purify with your love and falsity and need will fall away. It will bring you onto new ground where affection can grow again.

It didnt make you noble to step away from something that wasnt working even if you thought you were the reason for the malfunction. Especially then. It just made you a quitter. Because if you were the problem chances were you could also be the solution. The only way to find out was to take another shot.

Havent I - he thought. Havent I thought of it since the first time I saw you Havent I thought of nothing else for two years ...He sat motionless looking at her. He heard the words he had never allowed himself to form the words he had felt known yet had not faced had hoped to destroy by never letting them be said within his own mind. Now it was as sudden and shocking as if he were saying it to her ...Since the first time I saw you ...Nothing but your body that mouth of yours and the way your eyes would look at me if ...Through every sentence I ever said to you through every conference you thought so safe through the importance of all the issues we discussed ...You trusted me didnt you To recognize your greatness To think of you as you deserved - as if you were a man ...Dont you suppose I know how much Ive betrayed The only bright encounter of my life - the only person I respected - the best business man I know - my ally - my partner in a desperate battle ...The lowest of all desires - as my answer to the highest Ive met ...Do you know what I am I thought of it because it should have been unthinkable. For that degrading need which would never touch you I have never wanted anyone but you ...I hadnt known what it was like to want it until I saw you for the first time. I had thought Not I I couldnt be broken by it ...Since then ...For two years ...With not a moments respite ...Do you know what its like to want it Would you wish to hear what I thought when I looked at you ...When I lay awake at night ...When I hear your voice over a telephone wire ...When I worked but could not drive it away ...To bring you down to things you cant conceive - and to know that its I who have done it. To reduce you to a body to teach you an animals pleasure to see you need it to see you asking me for it to see your wonderful spirit dependent on the upon the obscenity of your need. To watch you as you are as you face the world with your clean proud strength - then to see you in my bed submitting to any infamous whim I may devise to any act which Ill preform for the sole purpose of watching your dishonor and to which youll submit for the sake of an unspeakable sensation ...I want you - and may I be damned for it

This time when we kiss I feel it in the pit of my stomach I feel it in my heart. And I realize love isnt about sex. Its about connection.

Ive been saying it so long to you you just wouldnt listen. Every time you said Farm Boy do this you thought I was answering As you wish but thats only because you were hearing wrong. I love you was what it was but you never heard.

So dont you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine. Ours

Love is the most powerful force in the world. That love can do anything.