I had a dream about you. Our relationship faded from red to white and somewhere in the middle in the pink zone I told you I loved you and you returned it. However at white our relationship went black and I sought red in the arms of another woman.

I had a dream about you. You were writing a book and I was reading a book. The problem was it was the same book. So while you were trying to write I sat next to you yelling at you to write faster because I am a speed reader. Seriously can you only type 1000 words per minute You slowed down my reading so much you made me feel like I had a second-grade reading level. Also you really should learn how to use a comma. Oh and one more thing. Its not a love story if theres only one character in the book. Not unless I am that character.

I had a dream about you. I said green was blue and yellow and you said green was yellow and blue. You were like that with everything I said taking the exact opposite stance yet completely agreeing with me. Thats how I knew you loved me.

I had a dream about you. Flowers were overflowing in the cemetery so we decided to have a picnic there. You brought apple pie and I brought my Aunt Mildred whod been dead for some time and I just hadnt gotten around to disposing of her body. I thought youd think me both efficient and romantic but it turns out you didnt. You only saw the romantic side of my action.

I had a dream about you. You were a tax collector and I was a man with a noose around my neck hanging from a tree. You said I could be freed if Id only pay my taxes and I said as long as I paid taxes Id never be free. I said I was freer in a noose than I was under the tax lasso.

I had a dream about you. You were eating angel hair pasta with scissors and I was a long-haired hippy. I yelled Eating pasta with scissorsa not so subtle way to say I need a haircut. To which you replied Well I would have used silverware if you hadnt sold all the forks and spoons to pay for your Ethel Merman addiction.

I had a dream about you. You were Ginger Rogers and you were trying to teach me to dance even though my movements were as stiff as a mannequin. I think you tolerated my abysmal rhythm because I was naked and my body was so sexy it could be used to sell clothes.

I had a dream about you. We went for a rideyou on all fours and me on your back and you didnt like it when I kept calling you donkey face. I was shocked and I said You should be flattered that I think you look like Miley Cyrus.

I had a dream about you. You winked at me and said the meats fresh and I didnt know which meat you were referring to. So I zipped up my pants and left the Mens room in a hurry. Id rather buy my thinly sliced beef somewhere else.

I had a dream about you. You had just died and I was debating putting your body into either a coffin or a shoebox. My decision was based solely on spatial concerns so I chose the ashtray because I thought it best to smoke your essence like a cigarette.