I had a dream about you. You were trying to swim across the Atlantic Ocean and I figured Id help you out so I brought a bucket to the beach and scooped out about a gallon of sea water. I was pleased with myself because now youd have that much less water to swim through. People have drowned on a gallon of water so its very likely I saved your life. But I didnt do it to be honored like a hero though a parade would be nice. I did it for the free meals and the discounted sex.

I had a dream about you. You wanted to go for a walk and I wanted to start a parade. I suggested we team up but you said youd rather have sex with a cactus. I was taken aback but then I offered to introduce you to a Congressman because I think he could really benefit from your kind of loving.