Hydrogenated and androgynous milky white love is all I have to offer you. Would you like me to pour it in your coffee or directly into your soul

If one unlabeled bottle holds nonfat milk what does the second unlabeled bottle contain If you answered Whole milk then youre obviously not ready to receive a jug of my love. So Ill just pour it in someone elses coffee.

If coffee were like dreams then I would be wired in constant bliss never needing sleep to live out my dreams.

I collect kitchens one empty coffee cup at a time. I wish they made dishwashers that cleaned with dreams not laundry detergent.

My alarm went off. My sleep went on. Dreaming about coffee is not the same as drinking down coffee.

Trying to remember a dream from a decade ago is like trying to catch fog in a coffee filter. I could subsist on morning mist.

I had a dream about you. You had just developed a way to drink sleep and I owned a coffee shop. You wanted to partner up but I suggested a more natural fit would be with a hotel. I recommended a sleazy one downtown where all the hookers go to sell sex.

I had a dream about you. Your skin was sandpaper and your armpits were hollow filled with dark chocolate and prunes. You offered me coffee and when I said no you handed me black coffee with a note that read 12 reasons not to drink coffee. I knew we would get along.

I had a dream about you. I asked you out to coffee and you said No thanks. Im a recovering insomniac. I said No worries. My conversational skills are sure to put you to sleep.

I had a dream about you. We drank coffee and laughed like old friends even though we were strangers bathing in the Brown River of Wakefulness. I laughed because you were naked and you laughed because Id just overpaid for a cup of coffee at Starbucks which the natives called Oompow which I would translate for you but its devastatingly embarrassing.