I had a dream about you. You claimed Orafouraville was a town and I declared it a city. You said it was one resident shy of being a city and I said So what if that one resident is shy Do shy people not count as citizens Do introverts not pay taxes You tried to claim that you were talking about population size and classifications on categoriesnomenclature and nothing more. But I saw you for what you werea bigoted small-minded big-city elitist.

I had a dream about you. I was a sleeping bag salesman and you sold insomnia. I tried talking you into selling sex instead because that way we could sell combo packages. But you said no because you didnt want to infringe on your grandmas sales numbers because thats what she sold.

I had a dream about you. We were in a field picking dandelions for the king when a strong breeze came. I threw myself in front of you to block the wind because the king was balding and if even one dandelion floret fell out wed lose our heads. Well youd lose your head. I was just a walking torso so I had nothing to lose but your love.

I had a dream about you. The ice melted so quickly in our relationship that I didnt even have a chance to tell you I loved you. So I just sat there alone slurping up what was left of us in a straw.

I had a dream about you. You were the lead guitarist in a band with no voice and you were holding auditions for lead singer. Everybody in line in front of me and behind me was a mime so I felt confident Id get the gig. I felt my performance was excellent like Axl Rose meets Rosie ODonnell but no you felt a person who sings in silence would make a better front man for your band.

I had a dream about you. You wanted to go skydiving and I said Lets try to rent Greg Louganis to be our coach. You said it was two different kinds of diving and I knew what you meant. We are heterosexual and Greg is a homosexual. Though I was disappointed you didnt want Greg as our coach I was glad you always have sex on your mind.

I had a dream about you. We were waiting in line and you were right in front of me. The line was three people long and I felt like the bronze medalist of the Checkout Championship. You must have felt like a winner because you didnt seem to be in a rush or impatient. I should have trained harder.

I had a dream about you. You were 1882 and I was 1982. You said you were older and I replied that I was taller. Still for being a midget you were pretty good at basketball.

I had a dream about you. We were trying to come up with a hashtag to market our relationship. I suggested fourlipsonekiss and twomouthsonevoice but you went with something confusing like idontloveyou and wearenotinarelationship.

I had a dream about you. You were writing names and numbers in a book and I asked if that was a phone book or the Book of Life. You answered in a way that blinded me with light and I grew afraid. So I said Hey what is that over there and I pointed over your shoulder and when you turned to look I scribbled my name on the bottom of page one.