Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes and thats precisely why I wear slippers.

I had a dream about you. I was a shoe salesman and you had no feet. I needed to make a sale or Id be fired and you needed reliable transportation. I suggested you buy shoes from me and for me and in return Id give you a piggyback ride. In the end you bought a new purse and I ended up punching my boss in his face.

I had a dream I was in an old womans closet peeing on a giant shoe. Sorry grandma I thought it was the bathroom. I hate vacations where someone carries you out of the car and puts you in a bed that smells like mothballs.

I had a dream about you. Knowing that women like to buy two things above all else shoes and purses I combined the two into one product that looked like Margaret Thatchers dress on your feet. You asked if my shoes made your ass look fat and I replied If I have to tell you it is it isnt.

You may be tall you may be short. You may be a black you may be a white. One more thing to keep behind your mind is that you your purpose is unique. Anyone who is thinks he is clever enough will mess up when heshe wears your shoes it wont fit

People are eager to walk in other peoples pair of shoes that does not fit them. The result is that their dreams begin to imitate a tortoise walk and that I guess is already uncomfortable

I had a dream about you. You wanted to go shopping for shoes and I suggested we go to the bowling alley. Where else can you go to rent such stylish shoes and have a FREE game of bowling thrown in

I had a dream about you last night. We started a shoe company and a competitor probably someone from Nike attacked you so I had to stab them in the throat with a shoelace. I guess it would have been better to use that shoelace to strangle them.